Wow watch this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjH8iib-pXU

Go Easy on the BT

What's meant by the posuk: בְּלֵ֣ב נָ֖בוֹן תָּנ֣וּחַ חָכְמָ֑ה . (Proverbs 14:33)

בְּלֵ֣ב נָ֖בוֹן in the heart of an understanding man

תָּנ֣וּחַ חָכְמָ֑ה wisdom is at rest. It rests. 

Wisdom rests in the heart of an understanding man. "וּבְקֶ֥רֶב כְּ֜סִילִ֗ים תִּוָּדֵֽעַ." But in the midst of fools, the wisdom becomes known. 

What does that mean? Wisdom in the heart of understanding people rests. It's in repose. But in the heart of fools, wisdom becomes known. What does that mean? 

Explains. בְּלֵ֣ב נָ֖בוֹן תָּנ֣וּחַ חָכְמָ֑ה

In the heart of understanding man, wisdom rests. Zeh talmid chocham ben talmid chocham. It's a man who is learned in the Torah and his father also was a talmid chocham. So the son is not excited. He's accustomed to Torah. He's not conceited about it. There's nothing so exceptional about it. He was born in that house. That's the atmosphere he breathed since he was a child. So the chochmah reposes in his heart. 

And the truth is it's a virtue. He is more rooted, more well-founded in Torah. A chocham ben chocham. The chochmah there is well grounded in him. But וּבְקֶ֥רֶב כְּ֜סִילִ֗ים תִּוָּדֵֽעַ, In the heart of fools, the chochmah is known. It means a fool, zeh talmid chocham ben am ha'aretz. His father is an am ha'aretz. But he became a talmid chocham. And the son is excited about Torah. And he talks about it all the time. Whatever he learned, even a little bit, he likes to advertise it. It's spectacular, still new to him. 

Now, there's a benefit here and a disadvantage. In the heart of the talmid chocham ben talmid chachom, we are more guaranteed that it will remain תָּנ֣וּחַ חָכְמָ֑ה because he's brought up that way. There's no other way of life except Torah. And therefore the Torah in his heart will always be in his heart. 

But if he's a baal teshuvah, let's say he came from a house where there was no Torah. Doesn't mean his father was a sinner. In those days you didn't have any sinners. But his father wasn't a talmid chocham. And he became a learner. So it's not so certain that it will remain with him. It could be sometimes in his life, chalilah, a tragedy that'll upset him, he might stop learning for learning is not the breath of his nostrils. He saw a house without learning.  So it could be he might reverse. 

That's why you have to be careful, the Sefer Chasidm says, when you are dealing with a son of irr-religious parents. Be careful with him because sometimes if you are too strict with him he might go back to the ways of his parents. Whereas the son of frum people you can be more strict with him because his model is his home. A frum home. 

So, a talmid chachom ben am haaretz in his heart, the chochmah doesn't rest. However, there's a disadvantage too. The talmid chocham ben chocham takes it for granted. Always saw it, always had it. Didn't know what it meant to be without it always talking and spreading the word. He has a fire in him.

 not sure of the which recording,maybe Keeping Calm, Tape # 692, 1:25:23

How does one look for good points in a parent that antagonizes him always?

How does one look for good points in a parent that antagonizes him always?

And the answer is, it depends. If the parent opposes the son's or the daughter's being observant, then don't bother looking for good points. A parent that's not a friend of Yiddishkite doesn't have any privilege of being a parent. And therefore although you have to beware of being too insolent to them, don't waste any time in looking for good points in them. We are talking about normal decent parents who are willing and eager that their son should walk in the ways of the Jewish nation. And for them that's the mitzvah of civud av v'aim.

R' Avigdor Miller, #497 Hodu, 1:06:53