don't wait

It sort of made me feel like you have to do that thing you want to do you can't wait.

Suzzana Hoff on John Lennon's death

Swing

Don't change your swing it got you into the big leagues. Change where you stand in the batter's box.
Pete Rose

dogs

I see many dogs on my mail route. I'll bet there's not one type of mutt or mongrel I haven't run across. If you ask me, they have no business living amongst us. Vile, USELESS BEASTS . . .

c'neged culam

I hear often in the frum world that Torah study is the greatest mitzvah, that even one word of it equals all the other mitzvos, and sometimes it seems that it's the only mitzvah that the charedi yeshiva world cares about. One hears phrases like "learning isn't just another mitzvah" a phrase that seems degrading to mitzvos to me. I find it also demotivating because I as a woman don't have the chiyuv of Torah study in the way that they mean. You can tell me that my support of his study 'counts' as study but it doesn't feel like study. I'm still not experiencing it. I'm happy to experience mitzvos but this becomes problematic when mitzvos are degraded. Also, my husband as a baal habayis has limited time for study. Even if we do all that we can to squeeze out more time, study is a fraction of the day. Most of our lives are mitzvos but the mitzvos seem to be looked at as nuisances. Yet Shlomo says at the end of Koheles that "the sum of the matter is to fear God and keep His commandments." He doesn't say that the sum of the matter is to study Gemara. In trying to rebuild yeshivos and scholarship after the Shoah, have we as a community gone too far and gotten off track? 

As a part II to this question (maybe it's an entirely separate question) I'm 100% sure that one or all of the panelists are going to reference the Mishnah "Talmud Torah c'neged culam" as proof that the current sentiment is correct. Yet, it doesn't seem so simple to me. Since when does c'neged mean equal?  The common translation of ezer cnegdo is helpmate with cnegdo meaning mate as in mated to. This fits in well with the Talmudic idea that learning is great because it leads to doing. It is mated, connected to doing. Moreover, we have several similar statements of Chazal regarding things being cneged such as Eretz Yisroel is cneged culam, tzitzis is cneged culam, Shabbos is cneged culam. Even lashon hara is cneged culam. They can't all be greater than each other. That's logically impossible. Rather, they all are mitzvos or aveiros that have tentacles in all other mitzvos, they influence all the other ones.

Vaknin Links

The Narcissist's Victims http://vaksam.tripod.com/faq38.html Victim Reactions to Abuse by Narcissists and Psychopaths http://vaksam.tripod.com/personalitydisorders70.html Mourning the Narcissist http://vaksam.tripod.com/faq68.html The Three Forms of Closure http://vaksam.tripod.com/abuse17.html Back to La-la Land http://vaksam.tripod.com/journal78.html The Spouse/Mate/Partner of the Narcissist http://vaksam.tripod.com/faq6.html Divorcing the Narcissist and the Narcissistic Psychopath - How Do I Get Rid of Him? http://vaksam.tripod.com/5.html Traumas as Social Interactions http://vaksam.tripod.com/trauma.html How Victims are Affected by Abuse http://vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily21.html How Victims are Affected by Abuse - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) http://vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily22.html How Victims are Affected by Abuse - Recovery and Healing http://vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily23.html Rescue Fantasies - Surviving the Narcissist http://vaksam.tripod.com/faq80.html The Malignant Optimism of the Abused http://vaksam.tripod.com/journal27.html The Inverted Narcissist - Codependence and Relationships with Abusive Narcissists http://vaksam.tripod.com/faq66.html Codependence and the Dependent Personality Disorder http://vaksam.tripod.com/personalitydisorders22.html The Dependent Patient - A Case Study http://vaksam.tripod.com/personalitydisorders56.html Danse Macabre - Trauma bonding and the Stockholm Syndrome http://vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily.html The Cult of the Narcissist http://vaksam.tripod.com/journal79.html Narcissists and Personality disordered Mates, Spouses, and Partners https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/narcissisticabuse/conversations/messages/5013 Projection and Projective Identification - Abuser in Denial https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/narcissisticabuse/conversations/messages/5002 Approach-Avoidance Repetition Complex and Fear of Intimacy https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/narcissisticabuse/conversations/messages/5000 Guilt? What guilt? https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/narcissisticabuse/conversations/messages/4931 Narcissists, psychopaths, sex, and marital fidelity https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/narcissisticabuse/conversations/messages/4920 The Narcissist or Psychopath Hates your Independence and Personal Autonomy https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/narcissisticabuse/conversations/messages/4959 I miss him so much - I want him back! https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/narcissisticabuse/conversations/messages/4934 Participate in discussions about Abusive Relationships - click on these links: https://plus.google.com/communities/116582645889927140499 http://www.runboard.com/bnarcissisticabuserecovery http://thepsychopath.freeforums.org/ The Narcissistic Abuse Study List http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/narcissisticabuse/ The Toxic Relationships Study List http://groups.yahoo.com/group/toxicrelationships Abusive Relationships Newsletter http://groups.google.com/group/narcissisticabuse/

Videos on Narcissim

Vaknin

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Interview with his wife

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Interview

Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life Coach Inc.

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Setting Boundaries

Go for it

"If you feel something that strongly, you have to go for it."  Deon Estus